Diamond-Cut Life

I have a 100-mile commute here in Oregon, from Portland to Salem, the state capitol, that I do three times a week with a congenial carpool (six of us in total). Carpooling is saving me $6,800/year, using this cost calculator. I also telework two days a week, and teleworking will be the subject of a future post. I’ll admit up front that living close to work is much better for reducing carbon emissions than even a large carpool at this kind of distance — but I love both my job and where I live, so I don’t see the situation changing. Plus, I heart my carpool; they’re wonderful people.

In Part I of this piece, I gave tips for getting your carpool up off the ground. Here in Part II, my tips are for keeping your carpool sustainable over time. The first one may surprise you.

Find a place other than your car for solitude. An underestimated part of the allure of driving alone is the solitude of it. Everyone needs some private time to themselves, and in our current culture which was built on cheap oil, many people get it when they drive alone (albeit on a freeway with thousands driving all around them). It’s true that a carpool is not private –you can no longer crank the radio up, slurp and spill coffee at will, etc., without affecting others. But I suggest you can find higher-quality downtime in ways other than driving alone, such as nature, a park or library, a quiet room in your home and/or better boundaries with whoever you live with. Commuting alone can be a costly form of privacy, both to your bank account and to the climate.

Read your carpool partners’ cues and respond accordingly. We’re talking about normal social skills here. For instance, when I’m driving and Sam starts reading a legal brief, I can see he’s not available for casual conversation, so I either chat with someone else or scan the scenery for a hawk. If I know Cindy is stressed because she’s taken on the workload of her new hire who just quit, I’ll assume she might want to vent a bit, and even invite her to do that. If Sam and John are excited over a big baseball trade, I’ll ask them to explain it to me, including whether it’s real or fantasy (fantasy sports leagues are, to me, a goofy, creative and low-carbon form of male entertainment).

Be flexible and positive, and volunteer information readily. Expect changes as the carpool goes forward, i.e. people’s work-schedules shift, or their child-care location does.  I’ve known of people who carpooled one way only, then bicycled home for the much-needed exercise. I once asked a fellow ‘poolie to drive my car for me so I could nap after a night of insomnia — which he graciously did.  Sometimes changes will please you and sometimes they won’t. Keep in mind that in effect you’re being paid to do this, and in particular, the life of your car is being extended as you drive it less. And if your car breaks down as every car does eventually, you’re better able to get to work than a person without a carpool.

9.) Now and then initiate something fun together outside of the commute. My carpool partners and I, in different combinations, have done the Helvetia Run, partied on Election Night, had a summer picnic and concert at Mount Tabor Park, participated in a Pub Quiz night at Bridgeport Brewery, and done the Best Dam Run in Estacada, discovering a great local breakfast cafe afterward. All of this has built more camaraderie and community.

10.) Consider operating your carpool by consensus, rather than majority-rule. I just navigated a conflict in my carpool in which I wanted to add a member, given that we typically have one or more empty seats on any given day. Four of my five fellow members were willing to do this, but the remaining person, John, was not. Some low-key discussion over several weeks led me to understand there wasn’t a rational reason for his resistance — he was just truly, emotionally uncomfortable with the idea of seven people instead of six. I ended up deciding that John’s happiness was more valuable to me (and definitely to the group) than saving a few more carbon emissions or gas dollars, or even making a new friend. So I dropped my request to add a member. John then nicely apologized for being a curmudgeon (his word, not mine .

I’ve learned that the majority-rule model of democracy was built for cities, states and nations, not for small, highly cohesive groups like my carpool, which has been operating more than ten years, albeit with some shifts in membership. Good relationships can be the most important thing to make sustainable.

Related Posts:

• Top Ten Tips For Carpooling, Part I
• Carpooling Is Saving Me $6,800/year
• Carpooling Is Cool